On the role of coffee in climate blogging…

“As a collegue of Paul Erdos said, “A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems,” and a good quote that would probably apply to all the GCM coders is “COFFEE.SYS Not Found: User startup disabled.” How much of the current climate craziness comes from these evil little beans?” George Turner in WUWT comments (January 7, 2011 at 2:26 pm)

Well it certainly sustains this blogger, and others, such as E.M. Smith, make no secret of their addiction.  George’s version of this very famous Shakespearean speech deserves it’s own post.

Hamlet’s “Coffee Soliloquy”

To brew, or not to brew: that is the question:
Whether ’tis nobler in the morn to suffer
The yawns and harrows of a bleary waking,
Or to make urns a’black to shake the slumbers,
And by imbibing end them? To sip: to sleep
No more; and by a sleep to say we end
The heartache and the thousand nighttime shocks
That sleep is known for, ’tis a stimulation
Devoutly to be wish’d. To brew, to steep;
To steep: perchance to steam: ay, where’s my mug;
For aft’ that cup of black what dream remains
When we have stirred and slurped the coffee oil,
Cupped in our paws: there’s the respect
That makes a frothing cup of Café au lait;
For who could spare the whip’t and airy cream,
The Espresso’s song, the scent of Arabica,
The grounds of spent wet love, the brew’s delay.
The insolence of instant and the burn
That patient merit makes of too hurried taste,
So he himself might his craving forsake
Lest a burnt piehole? Who would waking bear,
With grumbled breath under a drowsy eye,
But that the dread of dozing at the wheel,
The commuter’s mortuary from whose urns
No coffee mug refills, strengthens the will
And makes us rather brew those beans we have
Than drive to others that we know not of?
Thus caffeine does make addicts of us all;
And thus the doctor’s urge of abnegation
Is sipped o’er with a pale afterthought,
And resolutions of great sincerity
With this first cup their firmness goes away,
And lose the name of action.–Perc you now!
The rare Arabica! Drip! For thy piquancy
Was in my dreams remembered.

via Friday Funnies | Watts Up With That?.

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5 Responses to On the role of coffee in climate blogging…

  1. Verity Jones says:

    George – if you happen to read this – I’d love to do the climategate one too having previously quoted Richard III here.

  2. Pascvaks says:

    I have since turned to Tea, woe is to me,
    But every so often my son’s cup’s scent
    Whispers by my old nose and I can see
    The days of my youth and all I did then
    With my faithful mug in my hand.

    Alas poor Coffee I knew him well.

    • Verity Jones says:

      Oh very good!
      I don’t know how many times I’ve given up coffee (caffeine) only to succumb again after several months. I now go for quality instead of quantity.

  3. j ferguson says:

    After 67 years of trying to get a grip, finally realizing that it isn’t really as bleak at 3:00 am as it always seems, and that coffee at 6:00am will bring me up to the usual semblance of intelligence, I’ve gotten so I can actually sense its wondrous benefits as they course through wherever it is that they course through.

    Those who despair for the never ending increase in the ranks of those who would deny us one thing or another, should be glad that they haven’t yet focussed their settled science on coffee.

    We owe a lot to the discovery of coffee, maybe even our forms of liberty, those being developed in the 17th century coffee houses where these things were argued out.

    I can make a pretty good case for what we in the US and at least Scotland and maybe the British Isles, owe to tobacco, but having quit 30 years ago, it isn’t on the tip of my tongue.

  4. E.M.Smith says:

    I’m NOT addicted to Coffee! I’ve quit many times. And even when I’m unquit, I can go hours, sometimes whole days, drinking nothing but strong tea or “Red Bull” instead.

    So I resent this notion that I’m addicted to coffee. I can quit anytime. Watch me. See? I just quit right then for a good 20 seconds. Now, having proved my point, I think I’ll go have a cup of tea while the coffee brews 😉

    It’s only 2 AM, and I’m sure I can get to bed by 5 AM. I just have to drink one little cup and do it really really fast… (the faster you drink it the faster it is supposed to wear off… or so I’ve been told.) Not a problem, not a problem at all… Or maybe I’ll just stop by a Starbucks and order a Mocha… Mocha Grande… with whip… that would be quicker than brewing a pot… not that I couldn’t wait if I needed to, er, wanted to… I can wait, sure I can,…,…, but I’ve got nothing to prove, nope, nothing at all. So I’m just going to wander over to Starbucks and prove it. I’ll only order a Grande Mocha, not a Vente. I’ll be getting a whole lot less milk and chocolate that way. (They both have 2 shots of espresso in them…. not that I’ve asked, but it’s more economical to get the Grande, and it’s the same coffee, every Starbucks I’ve asked confirms it… the Small and the Tall both have “one” shot, while the Grande and Vente both have two, so you COULD just order two “smalls” but then folks start to look at you with that “I KNOW” look and nobody ever looks if you just say Grande Mocha… even the second or third time they don’t notice… so yeah, a Grande, that’s the ticket) and I can just walk away. Watch me, I’m going to just walk away from my coffee pot and drive over to Starbucks….

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