Climate Insanity

Aliens may destroy humanity to protect other civilisations, say scientists

Rising greenhouse emissions may tip off aliens that we are a rapidly expanding threat, warns a report for Nasa* paper

Yep “Bizarre” is right. Do The Guardian, NASA and Penn State honestly think we’ll fall for such garbage? * see update below

Let’s get one thing straight, aliens come in one of two flavours: benign or rapacious.  They may fool us into thinking they are benign when in fact they are secretly plotting our demise, but that’s it – good or evil. No middle ground. Either they are going to stand off and have a policy of ‘no interference’, ‘you’re not ready yet’ or they’ll see us and/or the planet as a resource to be exploited and either milked long-term or to be sucked dry before moving on.

“Yet across the gulf of space, minds that are to our minds as ours are to those of the beasts that perish, intellects vast and cool and unsympathetic, regarded this earth with envious eyes, and slowly and surely drew their plans against us.”§

As aliens approach our glorious blue jewel of a planet shining in the nothingness of space, they will see just that – blue ocean, clouds, forested areas, deserts, ice.  They’ll know that sentient beings have evolved to the level of developing destructive technology, and they’ll see that we make mistakes with the deployment of such, but let’s face it minds infinitely superior to our own will have mastered the laws of physics and nature and will understand the self-healing properties of a living planet.  A planet upon which we are but a population of microbes on the hide of an elephant.

Our ‘crime’, if any, is that of collective self-aggrandisement, of thinking that we make a difference to the planet.

“With infinite complacency men went to and fro over this globe about their little affairs, serene in their assurance of their empire over matter.”§

When Earth gives a little shrug, be it volcano, earthquake or just extreme weather, we count our casualties.  We bemoan changes in our lifetimes while examining the condensed detail of thousand years in a few centimetres of mud. Were our species to be wiped off the face of the Earth tomorrow, how long before evidence our very existence would be all but gone?

Come off it NASA, Guardian and Penn State – credit us with a little more intelligence, even if it is the silly season. Aliens just aren’t like that.  Hollywood says so.

Update: from co-author – I do admit to making a horrible mistake. It was an honest one, and  a naive one… but it was a mistake nonetheless. I should not have listed my affiliation as “NASA Headquarters.” I did so because that is my current academic affiliation.

§ “The Eve of the War” (HG Wells, War of the Worlds)

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21 Responses to Climate Insanity

  1. Pascvaks says:

    The Carbon Units infesting Planet Earth need not worry about so-called Extraterrestrial interference, this is forbidden by the Prime Directive. But the High Council of the Galaxy does recommend that any planet with 7 billion (or more) individuals at the top of the food chain buy a few hundred gillion Intergalactic Units of Suicide/Accidental Extinction Insurance. The rates are really quite reasonable when compared to the alternative. My card…

    @#$!!~ #$#22#$4
    *7&*&^^ 9*(*7777



  2. KevinUK says:


    Here is the authors web site

    Please explain to me why/how this obvious crackpot is able to produce this utter nonsense (presumably) at the US taxpayers expense and get it ‘peer reviewed’ and published to boot?

    Here is his CV

    Note the ‘advisor’ for his PhD ‘Discounting Across Space and Time in Climate
    Change Assessment’ is one William Ewart Easterling

    who is the Dean of EMS at PSU which makes him Michael E. Mann’s ( boss.

    Enough said I think?

  3. KevinUK says:

    OK, I’ve researched the ‘good (soon to be) Dr Seth Baum’ and he is what I can only describe as a ‘useful immature idiot’.

    Have a look at his views and research pages and you’ll see why I’ve reached this conclusion.

    He’s clearly intelligent and has a enginerreing/physics background. Why then does a man of his intellect and talent end up in the Geography Department of a second rate US academic institution like PSU?

    He’s ‘useful’ IMO because he is obviously intelligent and has obvious engineering/physics skills/talent yet he end up in a Geography Department. Are well funded engineering/physics jobs that hard to come by in the US that the only way a engineering/physics graduate specialising in optics graduate has to end up researching ‘global catastrophic risk’ in a Geography Department?

    IMO he’s ‘immature’ because at one time (which he seems to be proud of) he was actually involved in ‘designing a robot system that would drop water balloons on innocent pedestrians as they walked by.’

    And finally IMO he’s an ‘idiot’ because he’s write this ridiculous paper.

    Now who else do I know who is a graduate engineer/physicsist who has ended up finding job within a Geography Department who on many occasions has shown demonstrated immatue behaviour and who has published a number of ridiculously flawed/stupid papers?

    Ah – of course this Mann!

  4. Chuckles says:

    Thanks Kevin, glad you like it.
    Makes a change from the usual, ‘Oh God, not him again’ I seem to invoke…


  5. Chuckles says:

    And this just in…

    OK, calm down people, it’s all under control. Those good people at the UN had this covered last year. How prescient and forward thinking of them. Probably coming up for budget review time in fact…

  6. j ferguson says:

    All of the above is nuts. When these aliens show up they will want to go on welfare.

  7. j ferguson says:

    As Chuckles has discovered, they do like us. Maybe the language training can be limited to table talk.

  8. Pascvaks says:

    I have a feeling it won’t be easy. I met one last week. He (or whatever it was) looked and acted a little hungry. I offered the poor thing a Big Mac. He sniffed it with what I thought was his tummy button located halfway down on his pointer finger, then he threw it on the ground as hard as he could, bent over backwards and ate it all up by sucking it into his ear. His digestive track must be very short and quick, before I sould say ‘ET’ a stream of brown stuff came ooozing out of his nose. He wiped his face, if that’s what it was, with his left hind tail and flicked it in my face and started to cry like a wineo out of sterno. Now… I’m only guessing see… but I think he really liked that BigMac and the reason he crawled away so fast was to call home and tell his friends he’d discovered something incredibly Gaa-Gaa. Either that, or he thought I was trying to kill him and he was telling his SECDEF that they needed to wipe us off this rock ASAP. Not sure which. Maybe a little of both?

      • Pascvaks says:

        Not really, more like a one-eyed, one-horned, green, and purple, people eater; if you know what I mean. He (or she) kind’a grew on you after a while, like a fungus on a piece of that expensive French cheese that everyone puts in an oven for a minute or two and sops up with crackers while sipping California wine.

  9. j ferguson says:

    The scene in ET where ET runs up to a kid dressed for halloween as if he had recognized a brother suggested to one of our local wits that the question ET needed an answer to was “Where can you get anything worth eating in this burg?”

  10. Verity Jones says:

    Did he (she) have knobbly knees and turned out toes
    And a poisonous wart at the end of his (her) nose?

  11. KevinUK,
    Thanks for doing that research. It looks as if Seth Baum has learned well from Easterling and Mann.

    You can get much more attention by making outrageous statements than you can be sticking to facts.

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